so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize