Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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