then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
