I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize