Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
