I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
