Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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