Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
