I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
