Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
