dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
this will be a night to untag.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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