So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
i now understand why vodka
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
