If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize