fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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