Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
