Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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