You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
