Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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