i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
