They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
