ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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