If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
