you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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