So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Text me some of your sweat
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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