coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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