If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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