There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
