Whoa Z and x make the same sound
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
