Kiss
Puke
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
