Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
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