I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Is Oprah even human
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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