Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize