I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel great
I just peed on a car
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
