Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
