I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
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He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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