are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Randomize
