woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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