love makes seman taste better
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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