I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
