My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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