He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
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Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
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I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates