honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.