and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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