ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize