I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
