Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize