so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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