I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
