wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
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some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
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The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize