its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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