Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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