the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize