I think I died a long time ago.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
