there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
